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Like many writers, I've come to believe that my time in hell will
be spent teaching an eternal section of freshman composition. If so,
at least I've finally figured out how to begin the class. I'd assign
my students to read, ten times daily, the first sentence of Virginia's
Woolf's brilliant and beautiful essay "On Being Ill"until they
learned to appreciate the full potential, the dazzling glory, and the
clarity of the complex sentence. There's no way, really, to summarize
what Woolf accomplishes in the expanse she boldly carves out between
the capital letter and the period, so here is that breathtaking beginning:
Considering how common illness is, how tremendous
the spiritual change that it brings, how astonishing, when the lights
of health go down, the undiscovered countries that are then disclosed,
what wastes and deserts of the soul a slight attack of influenza brings
to view, what precipices and lawns sprinkled with bright flowers a little
rise of temperature reveals, what ancient and obdurate oaks are uprooted
in us by the act of sickness, how we go down into the pit of death and
feel the waters of annihilation close above our heads and wake thinking
to find ourselves in the presence of the angels and the harpers when
we have a tooth out and come to the surface in the dentist's armchair
and confuse his "Rinse the mouthrinse the mouth" with the greeting
of the Deity stooping from the floor of Heaven to welcome uswhen
we think of this, as we are so frequently forced to think of it, it
becomes strange indeed that illness has not taken its place with love
and battle and jealousy among the prime themes of literature.
Woolf's questionsWhy is there not a rich literature of illness?
Why are we eager to write and read about the mind but reluctant to discuss
the imperatives of the body?are rhetorical ones that she will
answer in the essay's opening pages. Illness is impossible to communicate.
The invalid's desire and need for sympathy can never be satisfied. As
soon as we begin complaining about our pains, our listeners lose interest
and counter with recitals of their own sufferings. Moreover, illness
consigns one to solitude, a remove from which it is difficult to signal
the world of the healthy. Most importantand Woolf returns to this
theme throughout the essaywe lack the language in which to express
the sensations, the emotions, the experience of illness; our vocabulary
is neither capacious nor elastic enough to describe the new territories
we are doomed to enter and explore when we fall ill.
First published in 1926 by T.S. Eliot in the New Criterion, and later,
in 1930, as a separate book by the Woolfs' own Hogarth Press, "On Being
Ill" has been reissued by Paris Press in a handsome edition that reproduces
Vanessa Bell's cover art. It also includes an informative, illuminating
introduction by Woolf's biographer Hermione Lee, who explicates the
events that precipitated the writing of the essay (Woolf had just fainted
at a party at her sister's house), describes the circumstances that
influenced its composition (Woolf's amorous friendship with Vita SackvilleWest
was growing more intense), and recounts the history of its publicationa
history reflective of and influenced by the Woolfs' troubled relationship
with Eliot. Lee also does a marvelous job of tracking the essay's central
themes and its recurring patterns of imagery.
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